Moishe is a fishmonger in a market in the Old Country, one where both Jews and non-Jews shop. One day, a non-Jewish acquaintance of his stops at his market stall and, after a friendly chat, says, “Moishe, I want to ask you a question. I hear some people in the village are saying that you Jews are smarter than anyone else. Is that true? And if so, what’s your secret?”Moishe thinks about this a minute, then he leans forward confidentially and says, “Look, I wouldn’t tell this to just anyone, but it IS true, and there IS a secret. But you must promise not to tell anyone else.”“Of course, of course!” says the non-Jew excitedly. “What’s the secret?”“Well, you see these fish I’m selling? Most people eat just the body of the fish. But we Jews also eat the head of the fish, and this makes us smarter.”“Really?” the non-Jew asks. “Really. And since you’re such a good friend, I’m willing to sell you the head of this fish here, so you can try it for yourself. In fact, I’ll sell it to you for just five rubles.”The non-Jew reaches for his money, then stops and says, “But wait, if I buy the whole fish, with the head on it, that only costs three rubles.”“You see–you’re smarter already!”
On pleasant days, Moshe eats a brown bag
lunch in the plaza outside the building where he works. On this day
during Passover, his wife has packed him a container of tuna salad and a
few whole squares of matzo to go with it. He seats himself on a bench
next to a man who seems to be enjoying the weather and the sounds around
him. In fact, the man is blind. Moshe, no lover of matzo, taps the man
on the shoulder, extends a piece of matzo and says, “Would you like some
of this?” Not wanting to offend Moshe, the man accepts the offer and
takes the matzo. He proceeds to pass his fingers over it to figure out
what it is, and then he asks Moshe, “Who writes this crap?”
